Persuade others through complimenting not criticising
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By: Jack Franklin | November 16th 2012
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Imagine it's a cloudless Friday and you're sitting on that comfy IKEA office chair typing away at an Excel spreadsheet when a dark shadow emerges from a nearby cubicle. It's your manager and judging by his tone he doesn't want to boost your base salary to offset inflation. Instead, the soul-less bastard has come to make your life miserable with his constant criticisms and self righteous behavior. As he hounds about your imperfections you begin to wonder the last time he ever gave you an honest compliment. You've done a superb job on multiple occasions and always it has gone unnoticed.
We've all came across these egotistical naysayers who are high on a 24/7 power binge and don't appreciate our hard work. Though their criticisms make us improve in the short term, they really only make us despise them and start applying for new jobs ASAP. The funny thing is science says their management style is incorrect.
Recently Japanese scientists from the National Institute for Physiological Sciences found that people perform better after receiving compliments. The professor who headed the study said, "to the brain, receiving a compliment is as much a social reward as being rewarded money." There's dozens of management books scattered throughout the world's many libraries that support the theory of focusing on the good instead of just the bad.
Dale Carnegie, the ultimate fan of this philosophy, preached about the futility of criticism because it put man on the defense and wounded his ego. His sense of importance was being attacked, thus he would jump on the defensive and be resentful.
Constructive criticism is a beautiful thing and has it's place. Personally I love it. But when naive people only focus on your negative qualities and not on your bright spots they're only putting masking tape on a problem that requires super glue.
If you're trying to get someone to correct a behavior, try this. Focus on the times when they act correctly and reward them for their actions. I'm no genius but you might notice the behavior happen a little more. Until next time.
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